Don't be racist

Trust the Chinese to have his wits when he's surrounded by such racists.

A Chinese immigrant went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the back of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Chinamen.

The game warden ordered the Chinese to show his hunting license and the Chinese pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt,and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec hunting license, boy ??”

The Chinese reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck’s from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license ??”

The Chinese reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck’s from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia hunting license ??”

Again the Chinese reached into his wallet keeping calm and patience and brought out a Nova Scotia license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Chinese “Just where the hell are you from ??”

The Chinese smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants showing his butt and said, "You tell me, you are the expert.”

LoL

What is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says,"Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family,
so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money,
so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs,
so we will call you the People.
The Indon maid , we will
consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother,
we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and
see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the maid..
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father,
"Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies,

"The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

LoL

A Cardiologist's Funeral

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life.
A huge heart... Covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever..

At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynaecologist."

The priest fainted.

LoL

37 yr old man, road kill

Mr Ng 1 is a friend of a friend, who had an elder brother, Mr Ng 2, who recently died suspiciously of a road accident in Kuantan.

Mr Ng 1 has a medical card from me but as I have not met up with Mr Ng 2, who was living and working in Kuantan at the time, I did not get the chance of prospecting him.

Mr Ng 2 had a wife and 2 youngerlings (Standard 1 and Standard 3). He was in the export business, exporting teak wood to the middle east for fragrance to be manufactured. He runs a very successful business for the past few years.

Mr Ng 2 was a passenger of a car when the road accident occurred in January 2011. The driver was not hurt that badly but Mr Ng 2 was unconscious when sent to the hospital. He was pronounced dead on arrival. When his family had heard about the accident, they rushed to the government hospital where it was keeping the body. The post mortem, did not indicate any fatal injuries, not much bruises either. Probably internal hemorrhage injuries. Mrs Ng also noted that the 2 expensive rings (RM10,000 each) on her husband fingers were missing.

Since Mr Ng 2 did not purchased any life insurance policy prior to his death, his business was all he left over to his family. Not any of the family member were quite sure of running the business. They later managed to find the business ledger and were shocked to learn that many people were owing Mr Ng 2 (up to RM3 million). The family feels that Mr Ng 2 could be foul play involved and most likely could a murdered death but  unprovable. The family also could not find any stocks at Mr Ng 2 warehouse.

Mrs Ng 2 remembered that her children had paid RM20 for a school insurance PA policy during school registration. I assisted to enquire on her behalf to the principal. The chinese school principal said the policy do not cover parents of the students, which is entirely false, as I myself provide the same policies to many schools and tuition centres. So I am very much aware that the principal was lying. I went to the insurance company to enquire for the claim, as there should be RM40,000 for Mrs Ng 2 family (RM20,000 per child). The insurer came back with the reply that the school had not renewed the policy since 2008.

Did the school took the premiums from the parents but did not purchase insurance for the students?

Why Doc's Get Pay Big

Marvellous answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?"

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....

He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running."

LoL

49 yr old man, stroke

Back in June 2010, I was introduced to Mr Loh by Jeffrey. We all met at Jeffrey's pet shop in Summit, USJ. After introducing myself and my insurance plans to Mr Loh, who was 48 years old at that time, I learned that he was married and have 3 children in Malacca. He had left his hometown to operate his business in KL.

Many visits to Mr Loh in the next few weeks, trying to convince Mr Loh to purchase a medical card for himself, he finally decided he was not interested in getting one. His reason was he had an apartment collecting rental and a booming business with his partner. As I am not a pushy sales person, I thanked him for his time and went on my way. I, too, thank Jeffrey for referring my insurance service to Mr Loh.

Last week, I heard from Jeffrey, that Mr Loh suffered a stroke! He was sent to a private hospital in Malacca by his family. Mr Loh's brother-in-law (wife's brother) was the payor and he was going to the ATM to withdraw RM5,000 everyday to pay the hospital charges. Mr Loh was given treatment in the ICU for a few days before he was stabilised. After many discussions among the family members, they decided to discharged Mr Loh from the private hospital and wanted to admit him into the public hospital (GH) since he was confirmed by the doctors that he was stabilised and the hospital bill was expensive.

After waiting for 5 hours trying to admit into the public hospital, Mr Loh passed away.

Today, I got a call from Mr Loh's niece, Ms Jo, who was studying in Australia and flew back to attend her uncle's funeral. I do not know her, but she explained to me that she had found my business card in Mr Loh's wallet. I am surprised that Mr Loh had kept my business card with him. Ms Jo asked me to speed up her uncle's life insurance policy claim as her family needed the money.

After recovering my shock and sadness, I regrettably told Ms Jo that his uncle, Mr Loh, had not purchase any life insurance policy or medical card from me.

25 yr old man, disability

Before I move to Putra Heights, I was staying at Dorchester Service Apartments, Sri Hartamas. I came to know Mr Wong, a tailor working at Sri Hartamas Shopping Mall. Mr Wong have a 25 years old son, who works as a mechanic in Cheras. He also owned a motorcycle. Mr Wong was very concerned for his son's well-being on the road, because he had heard too many accidents involving motorcycle. He then passed me his son's business card and wants me to get Mr Wong Junior an insurance policy.

Mr Wong Junior was very reluctant to meet up with me to discuss an insurance policy. Over and over the phone, I assured him it is of no obligation to purchase. I explained that an insurance policy can be as low as RM200 a year, for a personal accident insurance. I further elaborated how this affordable insurance can provide lump sum RM100,000 upon accidental disability and also RM2,000 medical reimbursement for every event. My persuasions felt on deaf ears. Mr Wong Junior reasoned that his employer had provided Socso for him. He was also saving money for his coming wedding. I thank him for his time and courteously let him know I can be contacted easily if he ever changed his mind.

One day while moving my boxes down to the rented van, I bumped into Mr Wong and said hi to him. He was quite embarrassed to see me, but I assured him I have no ill feelings with him. Later, he revealed that his son was recently involved with a road accident and it crushed all the bones of his son's legs. He was feeling very remorseful as Mr Wong Junior blamed his father for not buying a life insurance for him. I tried to make him feel better by telling Mr Wong that he is of no fault that his son did not purchase a life insurance policy for himself, being a working responsible adult.

Mr Wong told me his supposedly-future-daughter-in-law had left his son and choses not to care for a cripple husband-to-be.